Throughout most of my recent medical nightmare or journey, I've somehow managed to remain positive and accept the process and things that occurred (even though I may have lacked respect for some of the decisions made by the doctors) Even during recovery I found myself convincing my mum that I was alright to prevent her from freaking out.
Seven weeks later, having come off, what feels like, a year's course of steroids I'm starting to feel the irritation. Until now I gave myself no choice...
Okay, so I'm keeping positive. I'm glad I'm alive and in some ways surprised myself. I didn't realise I had that kind of fight in me. It's been bloody hard! I'm so pleased to be finally home and have no idea when or how I'll be able to walk properly again, but again like I always tell myself - it could be a lot worse.
I do feel a bit of anger as I don't think I needed to get so weak. I had more muscle mass before I entered hospital it didn't make sense to deteriorate further while I was t...
So about over two weeks into my hospital stay, a surgeon came to see me and told me I'd need immediate surgery to have my colon removed as death was imminent. There was also a higher chance of dying than survival with the surgery option which didn't quite register at the time. But for once during my time there someone was being very direct, and I almost instantly had faith in what this surgeon was saying to me. I can't help but wonder if things had been different if he had been called in...
During my first few nights in the hospital, I had a mixture of emotions; relief, happiness, sadness, loneliness, irritation, to name a few...
Initially, I reckon I was mostly positive about being there. I tried to absorb my surroundings in order to have the experience forever engrained in my mind. But I'm sure there were times that I've forgotten due to the pharmaceutical haze I was in for so long. I was sceptical about the treatment I was given every ste...
I just really wanted to put down a list of all the things I tried, in desperation, during my colitis flare up. I've spent a small fortune over the years on these things. The one I swear by the most would be Psyllium Husk which works wonders not just for IBS sufferers.
Peppermint eccentric tablets
Everyone has an opinion on this, whether they've used these or not. I'm not here to tell anyone what to and by no means am I a doctor even though I often secretly think I am : ) I can only talk about my thought process when considering these drugs.
I've been offered the choice to take SSRIs a few times over the years but have always strongly declined thinking it would be pointless. and not wanting to take a drug to try and 'fix' my mind.
My method of getting through anxiety and a 'trouble...
Being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at the age of 21 turned my life upside down. I had just spent my entire life working damn hard in the pursuit for those ever so special 'A grades', for what? At least this is how I felt at the time (my education means the world to me). However, being a believer of purpose and events happening for a reason, I was forced to pursue my one true passion - art.
Ulcerative Colitis is an autoimmune disorder where your immune syste...
I used to get frustrated when I'd create a lousy piece of art after having put so much effort into it. But over the recent years, I've found that the pieces I like the most are the ones that I didn't think too hard to create. I let my hands do all the work and use the time to allow my mind to relax. Often pleasantly surprised by the outcome.
As a child, I was interested in ghosts, ghouls and the darkness with which they were associated. Tying in nicely with my interest in death and decay...
I have realised, my life up until now may have been difficult but wasn't that bad. Everything could have been a lot worse, and I am grateful for the good things and people in my life. One of the most important lessons I've learnt is to draw strength from every experience. - The fact that you got through it and lived to tell the tale speaks volumes.
My past does not define me, but it has undoubtedly played a part in moulding me into the person I currently am.